My 3yo made
his own oatmeal. I turned around after putting the baby in his chair with his
oatmeal with the intention of helping Luke make his... and he had already poured the hot water into his bowl. That little guy was standing there in his Batman costume on the step stool
stirring his little bowl with the biggest grin on his face… I can’t even
adequately describe the bursting heart feelings that pulsated through me.
Ok, you’re
wondering what the hell the big deal is about. Why oatmeal became the topic of
a Once in a Lifetime retroactive letter? Why? Because the message I was going
to write was a dark satirical on how terrible motherhood is. Well... maybe it
wouldn’t have been that much satire because motherhood IS really terrible. At
least... terrible in the ‘You will never ever ever ever ever take a poop by
yourself again’ and ‘You are going to touch more feces, urine, vomit, slobber, snot
and blood than an ER room and none of it will be yours’ type of way.
You are not
alone in those moments you think that having kids was the worst decision you
have ever made. Every mom has thought it 400 times.
I really
only have 2 pieces of advice. ALWAYS bring 2 more diapers than you think you
need and you NEED Baby Anti Monkey Butt powder. It’s a zillion times better
than that white stuff.
You are going
to wing quite a bit of it and don’t hesitate to follow your gut.
Ok... so
back to the oatmeal. This is the part where I lament that Motherhood is the
only place you can be in Heaven and Hell at the same time. It’s a really
consuming job with very little pay. You work a lot harder than you ever have in
your life for a demanding person who is a severe relationship novice. You would
have dumped him a long time ago if he were a boyfriend.
But then
they make their own oatmeal behind your back. And you realize this is the
‘reward’ of motherhood. Watching this thing you created become a person. These
moments are random, sometimes enticed but always a joyful rush. Moments where
the everyday grind becomes a cataclysmic jump forward in life. You give birth.
He smiles. He rolls over. He sits up. He crawls… and so on. In those moments
you are so glad you decided to become
a mom. There is no greater momentary rush. And I know… I’ve done Whippits.
